Pity Post - Blood Test for K are Back

I tried to think of a good title for this post but there just wasn't any. I got a call from K's doctor today and her blood tests are already back. And needless to say they aren't good, I mean it's not something horrific but still not news I wanted to hear. And then on the same side I think the doctor has been a total pain in the a$$ since K's 1 year check up and maybe she is blowing everything out of proportion. What I do know is we have to see a Specialist and I'm pretty excited because we don't have to go to Children's Hosp. We actually get to go to the other Children's Hosp in town which is CG. I have heard alot better things about the treatment at CG, so that puts my mind at ease.

So here is where the pity comes in, which I have to say I even hesitate to post this but I need to vent and work out my feelings because otherwise I'm just being ate up inside and I'm in an awful mood....Why do I feel like I'm losing every ounce of control on my life? Why doesn't it seem like we can every catch a break? I guess there are so many questions right now that I want answers too, I feel betrayed by the 2 Evil Adoption Agencies that gave me K's referral. I know that she is perfect for our family and she is my daughter and I wouldn't want to change that one bit. But why did she have to come home with so many medical problems? I mean most families that have adopted from VN come home with these healthy, happy children and never have problems. But every time we turn around it seems like it is something new. Why did the Universe think I as a single Mom could handle this? Because right now I can't. K's medical bills just keep mounting, right now I've got close to $112,000.00 worth of medical bills? Why? Because K's condition they considered pre-existing so they denied every medical treatment, visit or prescription she has ever gotten and it has fallen on me to pay these bills. On top of it the insurance I had dropped coverage for K and I. I'm lucky I could finally get her covered by the State's All Kids program but still, they don't cover even half the stuff she needs. Her allergy medicine alone costs me $389.00 a month. And I still have a huge copay on every medical appointment she has. Would you like to know how much it cost me yesterday to get K's blood tests done? $540.00 out of pocket. I don't have that kind of money anymore in savings, heck I don't have the same job I had when I started my adoption....they closed down my freakin office, so I'm not making $60,000+ a year. It took me forever to find this job where I make decent money to at least pay the mortgage payment and keep food on the table. I'm lucky that my Mom pays cable/phone/internet and sometimes power. I know why the Universe gave K to me, we were suppose to be a family and I guess, well they knew I was strong enough that I could handle this because I know most parents couldn't have. And like I always say we will survive this. Somehow we always get by no matter how hard it gets. Well this is good I feel better now. Just had to write out my frustrations. Oh wait one more Vent. After weeks and weeks of going around and around with Shriner's and Children's, they called me today and leave a message they scheduled her procedure on a freakin' Tuesday and not until the end of October!! I specifically told them that it needed to be either Thursday or Friday and by mid-October because otherwise we are in our busy season and I may no longer get Thurs & Fri. I called them back and left a very detailed upset message because # 1 which procedure is this for? she has 2 tests she needs to be done # 2 what happened to the whole Thurs or Fri or mid-October, it's not my fault you guys suck and dicked around for over 6 weeks for the one test and 3 weeks to get the other tests scheduled. Needless to say they never did call me back, I know it's because they didn't want to talk to me, the hysterical Mom but I can't be Sorry I'm upset, they have added so much un-needed stress into my life by pulling the crap they did scheduling the tests. I have made myself so physically ill over this, that after I left the message I spent a good hour getting sick. I hope all of you had better days than me!

To my friend C, in NH a very Happy Birthday wish! We thought about you and sorry your present is going to be a little late.
A in MI if your reading this my email's keep bouncing back, so please call me sometime, I'm pretty much always home, all day on Thurs & Fri. Would love to hear the updates of the paperchase for # 2 and updates on S.