Prayers, School and This and Thats

Well today I spent over 3 1/2 hours in traffic and then had to sit through the class my new boss sent me too. It was actually a pretty easy class or at least it was while I was in the classroom. But who knows, it maybe a whole different world once I have to use what I learned in a real world setting. I also have another class next Thursday which I'm looking forward too. What I'm not looking forward to is that this class even without traffic is over 2 hrs away, across the river and out in the middle of nowwhere. I ended up not having lunch because there is no fast food or even resturants anywhere near this place because it's smack dab in the middle of the rich and famous neighborhood where all the professional baseball, football and hockey players, rap stars (I know of at least 2 that live there) and countless other rich people. I guess having a MickeyD's down the street from them would hurt their property value or something. So I guess I'll have to remember to bring myself some food next Thursday so I don't starve.

Otherwise K in the last few weeks has really been expressing her feelings. I hear sentences like "I miss __" "I'm sad because ___" or "I'm happy Mommy because ___". What breaks your heart is when she says that she is sad because she puckers out that lower lip and gets those big puppy dog eyes and it just breaks your heart. She told me yesterday this I'm sad Mommy and when I asked her why? she said because my baby sister is still in China. It took everything I had to hold it together especially with everything that has happened since Wednesday concerning my adoption from China.

So this is where the prayers come in, I get a letter from my Social worker that came directly from the head of Children & Family Services. It says that because my homestudy is 13 months old, that I must get a new one by December 15th. Ok, I'm thinking I've paid my damn homestudy agency enough over the last 4 years it shouldn't cost me anything or at least very, very little. Well they want to charge me over $2300.00 to update. This is the part that pisses me off is if I don't get this update by December 15th that they will close my file from China and I will NEVER be allowed to adopt from there if I live in this State. Actually let me put this more clearly is that I can still travel to China, adopt my little girl but I won't be able to come home because the State I live in requires that they give their approval before INS is allowed to give their approval. So basically I'll be able to adopt from China but never bring her home. What kind of crap is that?? What sucks is if my agency was in the same state I was in or even if I lived in a different state I wouldn't be going through this. My states regulations suck. I told my Mom after the year we have had I don't know how we will come up with that kind of money in such a short amount of time. I also said if I have to, I will move to another state so I can get a new homestudy and INS approval because I have not went through the hell I did with my agency fighting tooth and nail to even get my paperwork sent over to China and Logged in to not be able to bring home my future daughter and K's future baby sister. I have dreamed about my daughter from China for over 15 years and you can bet there is nothing going to stop me from bringing her home. So I'm not one to ask for a hand out because I've always done everything on my own and have always survived no matter what so this is hard for me to say I added a "ChipIn" to my sidebar in hopes that I can raise enough money to get the updated homestudy, otherwise if I don't raise enough money in time, it will be used to help me move to another state so I will be able to continue my adoption, drastic yes but if it has to come to that, then as I said I will do anything to bring my daughter home.