Feeling lost

Sometimes on the way to a dream

you get lost and find a better one.

I found a magnet with this quote on it and bought it years ago. It just seemed to speak volumes about my life. There were so many dreams that I gave up right out of high school for what I thought was everlasting love and that just turned out to be a horrible nightmare, but if I had pursued those original dreams, I wouldn't be where I am now. Ok so right now isn't the greatest but leading up to this moment has been amazing. I can't tell you how many times I was heading towards one dream, when something better came along, sometimes I didn't realize it and other times I was humbled by it. One of those other dreams was if it hadn't been for me finally being able to start C's adoption from China, I would have never revisited the thought of adopting from Vietnam. Lucky for me, that dream came true and I adopted K and became her Mommy and that's is one amazing dream that wouldn't have came true if I hadn't gotten lost along the way. Maybe the feelings of being lost I've been having means I'm right where I need to be.

Job Stability, Now that's Funny

Job -a post of employment; full-time or part-time position
Stability - continuance without change; permanence

Now that's a funny combination because in my world all it means lately is......

Layoffs - a period of enforced unemployment or inactivity

Do companies have no loyalty and why do they suck, hire someone for over a month and then lay them off (ok, they laid off 50+ people) because they decided that the work was going to be done strictly by automated machines, which is something they have known about for months, maybe years and rumors that I heard but really thought they were just rumors because why would they hire new employees if they were going to be closing soon. Wow I can't tell you how much this sucks!

I'll leave you with some pictures of K's first haircut that was done today and how short Grandma cut it and also a picture of Kitty Cat taken by K.

A Day Off

Well yesterday after working 7 days a week, 16 hr days plus, for over a month, I took a day off. Yes I'm one of those employees that called in sick when I really wasn't all that sick. I do feel under the weather but not enough that I would miss work normally but I really needed a break to decompress. It was amazing to actually get a full nights sleep, to eat dinner with my daughter and watch the 10 o'clock news. I do have to say I'm feeling 100% better today than I have been and I know when I go back to work today that I'll be a better employee for it. Otherwise we are spending our day waiting for the Washer repair guy to show up and also trying to get our garden inbetween the rain showers. Can't wait for fresh summer veggies. Also spent the morning putting in job applications, since my Mom is losing her job that means she can be home with K during the day, plus daytime jobs just pay better. So I guess it's a good thing all around.

Happy Mother's Day

We had quite a crazy and low key Mother's day. We were suppose to have lunch with my Grandma but she canceled so my brother was sweet enough to pick up my Mom and Me something to eat from TGI Fridays so we didn't have to cook. When he picked up the order, it was totally screwed up (food under cooked, forgot complete parts of the order, etc, etc, it was a disaster) , so of course I had to call and complain to the manager, he didn't want to handle it, so I ended up talking to the General manager and wow, talk about service. He even had someone bring us out dinner tonight because of their screw-ups and because it was Mother's day and no Mother should have to cook on Mother's day. We just want to wish all our friends with children who are home and those how are waiting for your little ones a very, very Happy Mother's day!!

I love this picture because of the ladybug which represents my

little China Ladybug who I'm still waiting to come home forever

Just when you think it couldn't get any worse

Well I swear that this blog has turned into a pity party for us but it seems like no matter how hard we try we just can't seem to catch a break. I really believe that 2008 was going to be a much better year than the previous two and especially better than 2007 but so far, that ain't happening. On Monday right before I was leaving for work, I broke my tooth. So I'm sitting here in pain because of course I don't have dental insurance yet through work and won't for another 60 days. But then yesterday we got even a bigger blow. My Mom always calls when she gets off work to tell me she's headed home, well today she didn't which I thought was weird. So K and I was outside playing when she pulled up. She walked over to me with a paper in her hand and I go what's that and she's says just read it. It stated that they are shutting down her warehouse permanently and she will lose her job at the end of June. You have no idea at how bad of time this is happening at right now. We are at a loss and can only sit there in disbelief. I sat there last night at work totally distracted wondering what the hell what we are going to do and just praying over and over and over in mind. And then the weirdest thing happened. When the lady who passes at work goes "what is that?" and I look outside the window and there were millions of those maple seedlings or helicopters floating upwards towards my 4th floor window. I have never seen anything like that in my life and I suddenly felt a sense of peace, it was a sign that everything was going to be ok. But unfortunately that still doesn't stop me from worrying.

K on Cinco de Mayo wearing her festive ladybugs

K making Kitty Cat attack me

K helping Kitty Cat blow the seeded dandelion

Some cool pictures I took this weekend

I was messing around with our camera and discovered that it has a setting for super up close pictures so on Sunday, K and I crawled around the front yard taking pictures of flowers, bugs and anything else we found and they turned out amazing. These are some of my favorites, who would of know that a dandelion and violet could be so gorgeous.

The China Wait

Usually I don't talk about how long China is taking to match families but after the latest batch of referrals I went and checked adoption forcast and till this month it always said we would be matched with our little C sometime between August-November 2009. Which I have been perfectly fine with waiting that long but today it says this......

Our prediction for LID 2006-06-22
China has 161 days of dossiers to be processed before they get to your dossier. China currently processes about 5.7 days of dossiers each month.
Our best guess: 2010-08-29

I can't even imagine 2010!!! I am crushed even by that thought because I never really thought it would take that long, I expected late 2009, early 2010 for travel. K is going to be 4 1/2 before her sister is even home, heck I'll be 34 1/2. I have put my life on hold for so long waiting for this, I'm not going to quit now but I just can't fathom that I'm going to have to pay at least 1 more time (even with the 1 free extension that I have) the stupid fees for the I-171H, more fees to my homestudy agency and just the cost on our life because it feels like we are in a holding pattern. I just have a feeling that there's a reason for all this but I just don't know why and after I read that all of a sudden a baby boy's face flashed in my mind, which was always my thought after C came home and was home for a few years. Maybe that's it, maybe C is suppose to be the last one home and not the middle child.

Also Congrats to our friends who saw their sweet daughter's faces for the first time on Friday. Check them out they are the families with LID between 1-10-06 to 1-12-06 on my sidebar.